Stitching together a stronger future

The following article is part of INSP’s Changing the Narrative series. It has been written as the result of the new journalism training academy, established in 2025 by INSP to provide people with direct experience of homelessness and poverty the opportunity to learn about journalism and the media, and to enhance their storytelling and written abilities. The training academy has two ambitions: to challenge media and public misconceptions about homelessness; and to tackle the lack of representation and diversity in newsrooms.

I am a happy, independent woman. I have a life that I enjoy in my own way. But when I look back at the journey that landed me where I am now, it still gives me a sudden jerk. I believe my story needs to be told because those who are struggling today need to know that hard times don’t last forever.

I was very young when I realised that my family had financial constraints. My father earned some money, but it was not enough for my family to lead a very comfortable life. My mother suffered from bipolar disorder as well as other mental disorders, but diagnosis was not easy back then. There was very little awareness around mental health back then too. Anyone going for therapy was considered crazy.

I remember going to the mental hospital where my mother was being treated. I remember seeing her head shaved after she received shock therapy. For a child, it was very unsettling. My sister also began showing symptoms of mental health issues, and she too was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I ensured that my mother and sister got proper treatment, but on an emotional level, I did not know how to connect with them. I was young and inexperienced, and found it hard to handle such difficult situations all alone.

I completed my schooling in my hometown, Kartong in The Gambia, and then studied fashion design in college. Although I enjoyed the subject, by the end of my college years I was too drained because of family pressures to continue. Besides, I needed to earn. My father was the only earning member of my family but did not earn enough, so I had to support my family.

I took up one odd job after another, but nothing seemed to suit me. However, in one of these workplaces, I met T. He seemed like a lively, down-to-earth person, and we soon began seeing each other. Unfortunately, marrying T was one of the worst decisions of my life. Months into my marriage, I realised I wasn’t happy. T was a good human being but not a good husband.

I was scared of his uncontrollable anger; I was an introvert and I could not fight back. He would go and stay abroad for months to set up a business, because he was not earning when we got married. But he would not contact me for months - I would find myself sitting at home with my two adopted girls, lonely and miserable. I even spent hours on my birthday waiting for his call, but it never came.

I had wanted a life of my own, I had dreamed of a family I could connect to, and the very thought of going back to my father’s place was unbearable. But in my marriage, I felt disrespected and demeaned. I learnt what a demon helplessness can be, and what mental damage it can cause. Although I had friends I could confide in, I was afraid to take the first step. Coming out of the life I had settled for was harder than it sounds. I felt like I had nowhere to go. I did not know what the way out of this maze was.

As a result, I went into clinical depression. I told nobody in my family about it, but I saw a psychiatrist and was soon on medication. That is when I decided that I had to be happy. I had to live. If being happy at that moment meant living alone, I would do that. It took me months to wrap my head around the fact that I wanted a divorce, because I was afraid of the stigma. Nonetheless, I got divorced and came back home. Every time I went out, I was troubled by my neighbours’ eyes following me. I was troubled by their questions.

During that time, my therapist told me that to pull myself out of the deep abyss, I must do something I love. I realised I wanted to sew, so I started to make clothes and to sell them.

Nowadays, I do not depend on anyone for my happiness and peace. I am enough for myself. I talk about mental health openly, and I believe the stigma should be wiped out completely, so that people going through a tough phase do not hesitate to see a mental health expert. I also believe that sticking to a partner and staying in an unhappy marriage because of the fear of society’s reaction causes massive emotional damage. It eats away at your confidence.

I have made some bad decisions in my life, but I do not falter when people ask me about them anymore. I look them in the eye and tell them that my life was messed up, I was clinically depressed. I was lonely then, but today I am happy, because I have myself to pull me up every time I fall.

So if you are struggling today, believe in yourself. Have faith. It does get better.